Not long ago I had a conversation with my 8 year old about talking to God or rather, God talking to us. He kept saying “God never talks to me??” While I have grown significantly in my faith over the last 3 years hearing God speak to me is not my strength. Listening – trusting – giving up what I think I can control (key word being think because I now know that I really have no control and Gods’ Plan will prevail if I just let it).
God’s dream for us must come to life God’s way!
Continue reading “He Talked to ME!”
Yesterday I completed the return trip from Indiana to Minnesota with my 3 boys. We used to live there and had gone to visit. We drove all day Friday (550 miles/10hrs driving) spent time with friends on Saturday and Sunday and made the long trek back on Monday. Most of the time was spent in our old neighborhood. I would pull-up on the street – turn the car off and the boys would grab their rip sticks or scooter and off they would go. The play was so filling that they didn’t even ask for food. On Saturday I fed them breakfast at 9am and dinner at 7pm with nothing in between. It’s confusing to return somewhere that feels like home but isn’t. The boys asked if we could move back and it didn’t sound like a bad idea.
During the drive home I had a lot to think about. My heart and head felt chaotic and confused. We are in the middle of moving again and I wanted to curl up in a ball and just be home – where everything is comfortable. As I drove I prayed. Prayed for guidance and comfort about where to be and a good transition for the boys at a new school and in a new city. I continued to feel like a tornado inside. Then the sun started setting. It was shining right in my face. The whole big circle of a sun right at me. The kind of shining right in your face that I thought I may have to pull over because I couldn’t see very well. Then it moved and what unfolded was amazing. The sky and clouds and sun did things I can’t put words to. It was completely amazing. The colors the shades the clouds their shapes – they kept changing and being amazing and beautiful. It took me away from myself. I couldn’t help but stare at the beauty and wait to see what unfolded next.
Then it got dark. I went back to my thinking. The thinking turned to tears and head shakes (no head shakes, disagreeing head shakes). I thought that was God – He stuck that sun right in my face to say “hey watch this! Watch the beauty I can create. I did this when I created you. It’s a beautiful life you are traveling through. Keep moving forward and letting the beauty unfold.”
Why the tears and head shakes? I’ve done a lot of internal work and I know it’s my job to trust God and all that he has in store for me. Deep down I know that I do deserve and have a beautiful life. That I do deserve the love God gives me everyday. That I do deserve the beauty he is unfolding in my. BUT the head shakes and Tears were there because it’s hard to accept. Hard to think of anything about me as beautiful (and I’m not talking physically) and worthy of such love. My thoughts went to – No, you’re nothing special you don’t deserve to be loved like that and I had to force my thoughts in a different direction. The direction of I am loved. I am worthy of great things. Not any better than anyone else on this earth but certainly not any less either. While it was a mental struggle I was able to see the beauty in it and as I continue to walk through this life I will get better at accepting love from not only God but those around me – I just know it!!
What??? Well, here you have it. I’ve done a ton of personal development over the last two years (since becoming a coach actually because it’s one thing that I was told to do and I kept reading things and eventually stuff started to sink in and now I see myself making these self improvements based on my mental state and keep wanting more and more – but I digress). Continue reading “Forgiveness and Lawn Mowing”
This photo popped up in my feed today and it seemed fitting since my grandma went to heaven this morning. I saw her yesterday and read her a letter I had written to her the night before. I wrote it down because I wanted to make sure I could remember what I wanted to say when I saw her. In a nutshell I said:
** I’m proud. Proud to be a part of your legacy. Proud of the marriage you and grandpa had and the children you raised. Proud to have your name. Continue reading “Dance Grandma Dance!”
My boys have 83 days of summer vacation. Have you ever watched Phineas and Ferb? My boys used to. They don’t very much any more and it was a show I enjoyed watching with them. As summer rolled around I decided I really wanted to bring them back. Not in a sit and watch them on TV kind of way but I wanted to do a project each day like Phineas and Ferb and their buddies. Instead of creating something huge in my backyard that would eventually disappear I decided we would try a new recipe each day. We haven’t done one a day but I’m bound and determined to catch up and get there. Here are 3 of the recipes we’ve tried so far and what we thought:
These are funny because I made them thinking my kids wouldn’t be able to get enough. I have one who really likes coconut and thought he would be all over these. I, on the other hand, do not like coconut and didn’t think I would even try them. Here’s what happened – they didn’t eat them. They tasted them and said they were okay but weren’t nearly as excited about them as I had hoped. Instead, I was the one that ate them all. I couldn’t get enough and thought they were fantastic. I used swerve for the sweetener, raw cacao powder and peppermint extract (because I didn’t have essence). These are super quick and easy to make with only 4 ingredients. I made them in silicone molds. I am a big proponent of eating fats. Our bodies need the good healthy ones. “Your brain is 60% fat, and much of it is made of Omega 3 fats and cholesterol. When you eat a low-fat diet, you are starving your brain.” Mark Hyman in Eat Fat Get Thin. Some of the benefits of coconut oil: it can help you burn more fat and therefore lose it, can kill harmful microorganisms and help prevent infections, can reduce hunger, can boost brain function (especially in Alzheimer’s patients) and can improve blood cholesterol levels because it is full of saturated fats. Saturated fats raise HDL (good) cholesterol and change the make up of LDL (bad) to large fluffy particles versus the dangerous small particles.
Okay, these were good. They were really good. Like all brownies, the middle was the most moist and fudgy tasting. Everyone ate them up. Why did I make these brownies? The obvious, brownies are usually yummy and I do my best to avoid wheat/gluten, sugar, and as many processed foods as possible. I do have 3 young boys and they often ask why I don’t let them eat a lot of the foods they see other kids eating. They don’t always agree with my answer but I’m hoping in the long term it will make sense. For now, I want them to be able to have “treats” and enjoy eating them. This did the trick and mom (me) was happy. I used Swerve as my sweetener/erythritol and butter in this recipe. For my chocolate bars I used Endangered Species dark chocolate with 88% cocoa. I had a small amount of brownies left and I pulled them apart into small chunks, put them in the freezer and added them to some homemade chocolate ice cream a few days later – another HIT!
I guess these three are all about Keto and high fat. I do eat a high fat diet but I don’t eat ketogenic. I might end up in ketosis sometimes but I don’t check it nor do I focus on it. The reason I made these is that I have a family dessert (the name it has is actually dessert dessert for some reason) and it’s a ritz cracker crust, pistachio ice cream and whip cream middle and topped with more whip cream and crushed heath bars. I was trying to find a way to healthify this recipe a bit and this was where I started. These were super easy to make with only 3 ingredients and I was out of coconut oil so I used a grassfed butter. I am curious if they would be different with coconut oil. I’ll have to try that and let you know. Getting the butterscotch extract was probably the hardest part – amazon was out when I first went to order. These seemed really sugary at first when we tasted them but eventually they were eaten and it didn’t take long. I think they would be perfect mixed into some homemade ice cream (thinking homemade blizzard) and dipped in a chocolate/coconut oil mixture.
I have more recipes ready to share so be ready. I would love to hear what you think about these or any other fun recipes you have tried this summer.
This sequence of text messages happened yesterday:
Me – Here’s what I realized at the boys soccer game today – I love coaching
Friend – AND you are good at it
Me – (it isn’t easy for me to take a compliment so my first response was to negate that comment but I didn’t – because it’s important for us to accept them) It’s like a fire has been lit that hasn’t been lit for a long time this season. Continue reading “Fire Burning Inside”
On Sunday I finished a 21 day program (the Ultimate Reset by Beachbody) and it is designed to reset your body. Bring it back to its original factory settings, if you will! Once the 21 days is up that’s when the real work begins. This is my second time through this program in the last 12 months. It’s interesting how the two experiences were both very different. Someone had posted in one of the groups I was in (with other people doing this same program) that each time you do it you peel back a layer. It’s like peeling an onion and you experience new things each time. The detox is different. What you uncover and learn is different. Continue reading “Done!”
I was just thinking about recipes that I really like to make in the summer. These are 5 of my favorites. They are great for having at home but are also great for bringing with to a BBQ. I love making a big batch of fresh food and just having it in the fridge to pull out and eat. It makes life more simple! Continue reading “5 Simple and Clean Recipes for a Summer BBQ”
I was driving to pick up my boys from school a few weeks ago and that’s the word that came to mind. It was a busy time with a big fundraiser I was working on at school fast approaching and the start of soccer season which I coach and comes with administrative duties I’d rather not take care of. I was on the verge of tears as I was driving. This wasn’t because I was feeling overwhelmed with what was going on (although it contributed) but because I was thinking that I missed my family. I just wanted to hang out – spend time with them and not feel like I had all these other tasks that needed to be done or feel like I wasn’t spending time with them because I was working on other (less important) things. Continue reading “Simple Life”